Hope

‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

Emily Dickinson

Hope

My mom passed away 2 years ago come November.  I had recently begun my blog and only posted intermittently….when the mood or inspiration struck.  It was right before Thanksgiving and it took me a full week to reflect on life rather than death.  I did a post (being thankful) on what I was thankful for and my second line was “My life has changed…..and I wasn’t ready….and I so want to crawl into a rabbit hole and curl up until God makes everything right”.  At the time that was the most devastating event in my life and assumed it always would be, but my life has changed…and I wasn’t ready, and I want my rabbit hole desperately.  My son, Jeffrey, passed away last week from sudden cardiac arrest…we didn’t see it coming…it was all said and done within minutes.  Doctors who sound like they know what they’re talking about say he had a genetic heart condition that we never knew about.  He was the first true love of my life and I am broken.  I still can’t say it out loud, I can barely think it without breaking down…but my other children keep me strong and give me hope.  If they’re right, and I hope they are, Jeffrey and my mom are eating at the Mandarin House in Heaven, and it’s just as good as the one down here.  My friend Mae says he is my guardian angel now…I can’t tell you how much I hope she is right.  Darth just told me that I’m the strongest woman he’s ever met….I hope time proves him right.  Jarath lets me cry and never pushes me to talk…knowing I can’t…and I hope that he continues to do so until I can…but there are no words in me.

My friends on SL (the best friends anyone can ask for), my blogger friends, my designer friends, my event friends, my Enchantment family …. have been so good to me and I hope that one day when I can talk I can express my heartfelt thanks and let them know that their love means everything to me….and perhaps it will put me back together.  But until then…there are just no words…

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[elikatira] Lalora hair @ We Love Role-Play
[elikatira] Lalora Circlet Crown @ We Love Role-Play
.:EMO-tions:. * WASTELAND angel- HOPE *  corset @ We Love Role-Play
.:EMO-tions: * WASTELAND angel – HOPE  * wings @ We Love Role-Play
.:EMO-tions:. * WASTELAND-angel : HOPE * forarm @ We Love Role-Play
.:EMO-tions:. * WASTELAND-angel : HOPE * forearm @ We Love Role-Play
Pure Poison – Sura Sandals – Brown -Maitreya @ We Love Role-Play
Zoul Creations – Iza SK2 skin @ We Love Role-Play
{anc} mist cloud [sungold] 1prim sculpt @ Collabor88
[we’re CLOSED] sunbeam
Le Poppycock-Sanctuary (Dove)
Del May Driftwood pose

3 thoughts on “Hope

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